I'm On It

30 Apr 2013
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i’m aware i’m totally behind on updates

i have one month left of day orientation (how three months can go by that quickly i have no clue) and 2 wks of night orientation then im on my own..on nights..eeks!!

my friend is on her first night shift orientation now. i gave report to her =)

lots of stories!

to come..

also first semester of grad school is over with

i feel like it barely happened

dislike this program at least for now

may change

may take a break

who knows

will let yall know soon as i know though!

just glad those classes are over with

SN my dog is the best =)

so i took the nclex today…

and dang it wasn’t what i expected

i really felt so chill goin in i was like ok 75 under an hour LEGGO!

almost 3 hrs and 180+ questions later…umm..yea…

i was like

(DANGITTT HOW DO U ADD FREAKIN GIFS ON THIS NEW TUMBLR??)

i was like click…click…ok sure w/e click…eenie meenie miney..click…

then the screen went blue! I was like omgsh yes i’m doneee idk if i passed but im doneee

then it asked if i wanted a break

ughwuehjoefjwjoiwjojeowi NO.

click..click..click..

so i guess i wasn’t being consistent (because the way this all-da-way-LIVE test works is that it gives you harder ?s if u get a ? right and easier if you get it wrong until you show consistency at a certain level and i guess i wasn’t consistent at any one level and it wasn’t sure if i was guessing?

anyways i also got a lot of SATA (select all that apply) questions.boooooooooooooo

and some things i had never heard of pharmacology-wise..and procedure-wise..

and then i felt like they were using terms in place for shorter terms more commonly used not only in the clinical setting but in school

oh well

i’m glad it’s over

did the lil trick

got the good popup

so i’m relieved

SO GRATEFULLLLLLLL. amenamenAMEN!

and i hope the trick is accurate

because i tried re-registering for my state and then for another state and the same pop up came up which i didnt expect..

anyways i’ll let yall know when it’s official!

i just don’t want to take it (and pay) again!

i then went and got a massage at a student clinic i stumbled across and i was..underwhelmed..and felt like the man’s hands smelled like black n milds and that the oil smelled like condoms and that my unexpectedly practically nakie self was bein semi exposed to anyone who came in seeing as that the curtain wasn’t pulled WTH??!! and he massaged my face ugh i hate ppl touching my face! esp w/ oily hands. but he did good on the arms…mediocre everywhere else and i already warned him not to touch my legs (ticklish)

the fact that my natural hair was lying on that linen made me so nervous..split ends?? ain’t nobody got time 4 that! i wanted my sattin bonnet so bad. idk if i truly relaxed until the end.

sry that last ratchet paragraph was prob better left for my personal blog

anyways thank y’all for the prayers! they were surely felt!

19 Mar 2013
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2 notes

God knows just how to make me smile when i need it most <3

i received a lot of positive feedback adn compliments at work today…some personal and some professional..some from coworkers and patients..and some from absolute strangers

today was just what i prayed for it to be

awesome

i even stayed an extra 4 hrs lol

i think i prefer knocking out the 12hr shifts earlier in the week than later

grateful my preceptors are willing to quietly help me rearrange my schedule ;-)

17 Mar 2013
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1 note

creating my own path…??

the more i research and read about the experiences of traditional midwives and the more manipulation of my patients i see in the hosp..the more i see myself practicing a more traditional/rural style of midwifery…i hope i can find a CNM prog that emphasizes this style as well as incorporates management of complications

i’ve already mentioned…my polychronic style does not mix well w/ the hospital policies lol! and i’m finding out that more and more interventions and practices are not evidenced-based which is annoying considering how much time i have to spend reading and writing about evidence based practice!

not saying i want to be strictly all about homebirths but when i picture myself in the future i picture myself being equipped with the skills to help a woman through labor and birth regardless of the setting and still having the time and flexibility to get to know her and her culture. i want to see how its done in other parts of the world too.

everything can’t be by the book. time to pack up my books and hop on a plane! i think im going to look into some opportunities abroad and local o shadow various midwives and work with them during births because i really want to see how it varies from one practitioner to another. and i have sooooo many questions when i’m at work, but i don’t always know if i agree with the answers.

on another note, i am also looking into conservatory acting programs in NYC (and some in cali) and i am thinking about getting together with a few friends and possibly starting a web series. sometimes you’ve got to create your own opportunities! esp when you’re too impatient to wait on an audition notification or callback lol. it’d also help to put towards my demo reel and resume ;)

mind reeling

16 Mar 2013
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1 note

oh btw….

lots of L&D stories to come…after i rest. these 40 hr wrk wks….

but i won’t complain!

too ~~tired~~ blessed

lol

16 Mar 2013
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2 notes

just realized i couldve applied to SUNY Downstate in NYC for their MS in midwifery (no nursing required) right after my first bachelors…i could’ve been in NYC..and a midwife..by now…lol

things that make u go ‘hmm…’

also i hear they have an AWESOMEEEEEEEEEEE midwifery prog according to my midwife mentor who is also faculty at UCSF (top ranked for midwifery!) and lots of diversity. yayyy diversity!

11 Mar 2013
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i was on the labor side today

i had a korean patient (loveloveLOVE! because i promise i’m honorarily half korean! unfortunately i could only think of a few phrases and that really frustrated me. she had such a quiet delivery. i almost felt awk. and then i felt annoyed when the other nurse and the ob were ranting about things on teh unit that made them mad. im thinkn ummm can this lady be in her moment please she is giving birth! one thing that puzzled me was seeing ‘cookie and beer’ listed as her last food/drink…is there some kind of non-alcoholic korean beer? please say yes!)

i also had a latina patient who didn’t speak english that well so i was overjoyed to prac my spanish!! 2nd time this week! lesson of the day: i need to work on my medical spanish..and freshen up my conversational spanish. i always get so nervous around native speakers. this lady had her epidural put in my a resident..who had been gettin chewed out by his attending (who is super young-looking btw!) and so we put in a good word for him….but then the epidural didn’t work and the CRNA came in and turns out he had dosed it way too low =/ we take that word back!! poor lady was writhing in pain…

korean lady delivered. my shifted ended. didn’t get to help her breastfeed and didn’t get to deliver the latina lady

i dislike when the shift’s end interrupts my bonding experience lol. half the time i honestly want to clock out and just stay. while my preceptor is all like HERE’S YOUR NEW NURSE, DEUCES AND CONGRATS!!!

lol…i guess..

i hate how everything is so time-ran. prob y i get mad at ppl getting mad at me for being late lol ugh the pressure! think i belong in a polychronic culture

maybe an island? europe?

10 Mar 2013
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3 notes

as a new nurse (or an experienced one)

it is important to speak up and ask questions when you don’t know

it is also just as important to speak up when you DO know/feel something is not right (regardless of who you have to speak up to!). when you know you know.

both affect your patient’s experience and outcomes!

trust your gut!